:D

Taoism: "Shit Happens."

Confucianism: "Confucius say, "Shit Happens.""

Buddhism: "If shit happens, it is not really shit."

Hinduism: "This shit happened before."

Islam: "If this shit happens, it is the will of Allah."

Protestantism: "Let shit happen to someone else."

Catholicism: "If shit happens, you deserved it."

Judaism: "Why does shit always happen to us?"

Atheist: "I don't believe this shit."

Satanist: "Shit happening fascinates me."

Jehovah's Witness:
"Knock, Knock! Let us in and we'll tell you why shit happens.", "There is only a limited amount of good shit.", "No shit happens until Armageddon."

Seventh Day Adventist: "Don't shit on Saturday."

Mormonism: "This shit is going to happen again."

Capitalism:"Shit happens, and it'll cost you!"

Communism:"Shit doesn't happen unless we say so. It's everybody's shit."

Computerism: "Why won't this shit work?"

Creationism/Intelligent Design: "And the Lord said "Let there be Shit" and there came piles of it."

Materialism:"Whoever dies with the most shit wins."

Yuppie:"It's my shit! All mine! Isn't it beautiful?"

Mathematics:
"Necessary and sufficient conditions for shit to occur are:

1) Shit must exist and be continuous in a domain D

2) No shit must exceed ^SHIT^ on the boundary of D"


Green Peace:"Save this shit!"

Pessimism:"Shit happens forever."

Optimism: "Let's look at the bright side of this shit"

Idealism:"I can handle this shit."

Hippyism:"If shit happens, make peace with it."

Rastafarian:"Let's roll that shit up and smoke it."